clarity
by A. X. Zanier
Summary: Darien tries to fix what's broken...
1. never say never

Title: _Clarity_

Author: A. X. Zanier

Copyright: December 01, 2013

Rating: PG-13 (Language, violence, mild sexual situations)

Fandom: _The Invisible Man_

Series: _N/A _

Pairing: Darien/OFC

Sequel: Follows _broken_

Summary: Darien tries to fix what's broken

Spoilers: Probably, does it really matter after all these years?

Disclaimer: a) The characters and basic story ideas of _The Invisible Man_ are the property of others including, but not limited to Matt Greenberg, Studios USA, Stu Segall Productions and NBC Universal. Any additional characters or story ideas are mine. I make no money from this intellectual exercise. b) This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any opinions or views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the author and are used for story-telling purposes only.

A/N: each chapter title is also a song title, for the full song list drop me an email.

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**Clarity**

.

_never say never_

_._

Darien hadn't really slept once Alyx had left his apartment. Everything he'd done, they'd done, said and, more importantly, _not_ said running through his mind over and over again. He could understand her anger, he supposed, he had made every effort to push her to that state, but he had been making amends... or so he'd thought. Maybe... maybe he'd been kidding himself all along. Maybe there could be no reconciliation for them, no matter how much he wanted it.

He wanted her, wanted to be with her even after everything, but realized he couldn't force her to feel the same. So, what was left to do?

Let it be and watch her walk away?

Not that he had much choice in that; she fully intended on leaving for this new job, and she'd made it quite clear there was nothing he could do that would change her mind.

And that left...

For him to stop being a selfish bastard and focusing on on _his_ wants and needs and instead supporting her and her decisions no matter how much it hurt him personally.

Decision made he had finally been able to fall into a less than restless slumber for a few short hours.

. . .

The morning dawned bright and gorgeous, no fog burying the city on this day, no it had been a perfect to play hooky and go to the beach, which part of him had been sorely tempted to do. To run free amongst the waves instead of facing the heartache he knew would be found at the office.

He stood in the doorway, looking at Hobbes who sat typing vigorously at the computer in front of him, probably finishing up some paperwork... unless the boss had given them a new case, of course.

"Hey, have you seen Alyx?"

Hobbes stopped typing instantly, his head snapping up in surprise, clearly he hadn't heard his partner tromp in and take up position holding up the doorframe. "No, why?" His brows knit together as he changed tracks mentally. "Things not go so hot last night?"

Yeah, Hobbes knew what Darien had planned, hell, if it hadn't been for Bobby Darien never would have known about this other job she'd been offered and then accepted. Would never have known that she planned to end his torture of her by escaping away. Would not have known he'd been about to lose the most important thing in his life through his continued stubbornness and stupidity.

Darien shrugged, not certain how to answer the question.

"She even show?"

Darien nodded. "We talked some, had really hot angry sex, and she left."

Hobbes nodded tightly. "I told you it wouldn't be that easy."

Darien huffed in discontent. "Nothing has ever been easy for the two of us."

Hobbes grunted. "True enough, but this mess you brought on yourself."

Darien wanted to be angry at his partner and friend for that comment, but since he had come to the very same conclusion himself over the last few weeks he could do little more than sigh. He ducked his head. "I know and I need to fix this."

"She's leaving, Fawkes. Moving to DC on some super-secret project that even I can't find info on and that she won't tell me about. She's committed to this and I doubt she could get out of it even if she wanted to." Hobbes got to his feet and walked around the desk eyeing Darien carefully the entire time. "What do you intend to do?"

"The right thing," Darien answered, feeling oddly lighter for saying the words out loud.

Hobbes cocked his head to the side. "And what would that be, exactly?"

Darien shook his head, knowing his response would make no logical sense to his friend. "Help her. She leaves in a week and probably has a ton of shit to do. I want to help."

Hobbes blinked. "You want to help her pack? Are you feeling okay there, Fawkes?"

Darien chuckled softly, realizing just how this must sound. "Yeah, just fine. She wants to leave and I can't make her stay, but I can show that I support her choices..."

"And her," Hobbes finished, then wagged his finger at his partner. "Sneaky little shit. Glad you finally figured it out."

Darien didn't bother smiling back; it should never have come to this and he had absolutely no reason to be happy. "I may not be able to keep her, but this way I won't _lose_ her."

Hobbes snorted. "Like I said, sneaky little shit." He walked past Darien and into the hall. "Well, let's go help her then."

Now he did smile, trailing after his partner as they walked the halls, up one floor and to the office Alyx had taken over way back when.

Hobbes swung the door open after a quick knock to find Alyx seated behind her desk with a mound of files piled to either side of her. Her hair was piled messily atop her head and held in place with a pair of pencils, the Agency computer on with data scrolling past at record speed. "Kid, what the hell are you doing?"

She sighed and lifted her head, eyes shifting from Bobby to Darien quickly, as if truly surprised to see him there. "The Official, in his infinite wisdom, has decreed I must deal with all these cases, before I can be permitted to leave. Not that most of these were my cases," she finished with a wave and look of irritation.

Hobbes shook his head. "Fuck him. Your new job is set, right?"

She nodded.

"Then don't worry about this," he gestured at the piles practically burying her, "worry about getting your house in order."

Alyx sighed. "Easier said than done, I'm afraid."

"You have no reason to feel guilty, Alyx. You made the decision that was right for you. No need to feel like you have to fix everything before you leave," Darien told her, truly meaning the words. "How can we help?"

She laughed though it had more than a touch of bitterness within its depths. "You want to help?"

Hobbes looked from her to Fawkes and back again. "Have to say I was a bit surprised myself, but he means it, kid. Whatever we can do to make this go easier on you, we'll do it."

She shook her head. "I know he means it, that you both mean it, but it's unnecessary. I'm perfectly capable of packing up the few belongings I plan to take with me." She didn't snark, didn't raise her voice, just made the simple statement as if there were nothing between them other than co-workers.

Darien had no idea how to react to that, so turned to his partner for assistance.

"Kid, ever think we're gonna miss you and want to spend some time with you before you go?" Hobbes rolled his shoulders and straightened. The break between Darien and her had put a strain on all of them, with poor Bobby caught in the middle once he'd learned that Alyx had been the break-up-ee as opposed to the break-up-er. Granted she'd spent as much time as possible working loan jobs just to be away from San Diego and Darien's nearly obsessive need to screw anything that moved, which even Bobby had gotten annoyed with after a while, but she'd always come home. And now... now she was leaving for... He wouldn't call it good as her being away from him could _never_ be good, but it would be forever... maybe.

She had said they'd talk more, maybe it would be enough to persuade her that he meant his renewed commitment to her... to them. This... this backing her decision was simply the very tiny first step.

"Bobby, I was never leaving you," she stated, looking up at Darien in clear defiance.

"Duh, I know that, but we haven't really worked together in months. I want my chance to say goodbye too," Hobbes responded, a pleading tone sneaking into his voice to prove it was her friend who said the words and not just her co-worker.

"But I'm sure you have work..."

" 'Fish can wait, you can't," Darien stated, more than willing to blow off the nonexistent work they currently had. Besides, if they could manage to change her mind the Official would be one happy camper. Not give a raise happy, but yell a little less happy, for a while anyway. "So, what say we blow this pop stand, grab some beer and pizza and have a packing party at your place?"

She stared at both men for several long tense seconds, changed her focus to the mounds of useless paperwork before her then shrugged. "What the hell. Not like I really want to do any of this." She got to her feet, grabbed her bag and jacket and headed towards the door. "But I pick the beer and pizza."

"You buy you pick," Hobbes countered with as he turned to follow her.

"Of course," she told them, glancing back over her shoulder at them. "Well, come on, before the Official finds something for you to do."

Darien chuckled and did as she suggested. If nothing else she had great taste in both beer and pizza.


	2. all we are

_all we are_

_._

He'd bought a plane ticket to Philadelphia just so that he could go to her gate and spend as much time with her as possible. It cost almost four hundred dollars and had been worth every penny. Given the over the top security restrictions he'd damn near gotten pulled aside by the TSA simply because he was "travelling" without so much as a carry on, a flash of their badges, however, and a quick side conversation got the gung ho idiots to back down and allow Darien by to spend a just a few more minutes with his friend.

Friend. So not the word he wanted to label their relationship with, but the only one he would permit himself at the moment. Yeah, they'd had incredible sex just this morning, but it had most certainly been a good-bye fuck on her part. Her plans had never wavered and he and Hobbes had spent a fair part of the week helping her pack and arrange shipment for those things she would not do without. Not that there was much, she'd left most everything behind including all the furniture, her new place in DC already kit out with the works.

She pulled a set of keys out of her pocket and handed them to him.

"Um, aren't these your apartment keys?" he asked as he gingerly took them from her.

"Your apartment," she told him quietly, turning away to stare out the window and the lovely view of airfield tarmac.

"Alyx, I can't do that-"

"Yes, you can. I own the place and have no plans to sell right now. It's yours for the duration."

He slid the keys between his fingers, the keyring simple and understated, just like her. "Baby, I... I don't know what to say," he told her, ducking his head down in embarrassment. He had hoped to move in with her, once she'd said yes to his marriage proposal, instead they'd gone their separate ways for over six months. So, why... why did he want to practically crumple in tears at the thought of moving in alone? Maybe it was the alone part that bothered him. Maybe it was simply the thoughtfulness of a friend, who knew he would miss her terribly until they, hopefully, had the chance to get together again.

Sadly, she was moving on, while he was holding on. He shouldn't, but he couldn't seem to help himself.

"Darien, yes, I'm moving away, but I'm not moving on... not from us, anyway." She shook her head and turned to give him a tiny smile. "I told you we would stay in contact. I can make that a promise if you wish."

He reached out and set a hand on her arm. "No, I won't have you make promises you might not be able to keep." He waggled the keys at her. "Thanks for this, I might never have left that rat trap of mine otherwise."

She chuckled. "Yes, you would have, besides I do have ulterior motives here. I'd prefer a familiar place to crash on those occasions I'm in town."

While he'd been hoping she'd want to see him should she happen to visit San Diego, he certainly didn't expect it. Especially not after everything he had put her through. "Alyx, I'm not stupid. Whatever you are going to be doing is going to keep you busy and the last thing on your mind should be me."

She smiled brightly then leaned over to kiss him. "You are never the last thing on my mind, and believe me even at the height of your... displeasure with me I tried very hard to block you out, but I have no control over it and you, most certainly, made every effort to use it to your advantage."

Darien found it so very hard to believe that she had forgiven him so easily. She had the ability to hold onto a grudge for a very long time and had. And yet... yet in less than a week she'd gone from frightfully angry to completely calm and understanding. It made no logical sense. Hell, it made no emotional sense.

"Alyx, you don't have to pretend just to make this easier on me. You have every right to still feel hurt and angry." He turned away, taking a few moments to watch the other travelers milling nearby, all of them waiting to be someplace else, someplace that wasn't here. "It might be for the best that you're leaving; it'll give you a chance to really forgive me."

She sighed, one hand coming up to rub her forehead. "D, I'm not pretending... precisely, but, you are right, forgiving doesn't come easy for me and... and I'm going to be even more gun shy than before when it comes to us."

He nodded, knowing this was the truth finally. Not that she'd been lying, per se, but she'd been carefully crafting her emotional response to him since that night when he'd finally screwed up the courage to actually apologize to her. "Alyx I'm sorry... and I know those lame-ass words will never be enough to make up for the last six months, but I want... need to try." He cautiously met her eyes, feeling that sharp tug on his chest that happened just to remind him that he was still head over heels crazy in love with the woman before him.

She shifted and leaned forward, her head coming to rest on his shoulder even as he curled a hand up about the back of her neck, the comfort needed even as it again reminded him of how much he had lost by walking away from her.

"I hurt, Darien, and it's not easy for me to let go, but I'm gonna try. I never didn't want to be with you, but you were _so angry_ I had to get away, being here, so close to your pain just twisted me up too damn much." Words she hadn't managed to say to him in the last week. Her sole long-term relationship - marriage to Jess - had been horribly damaging to her, and he had known that, yet he, like the fool he was, had simply added to it. Which meant it would be even harder for her to let it go for she now knew exactly how badly he could hurt her and that he was more than willing to do so should he have reason enough to. "And then you go and decide to change the rules again." She sat up, meeting his eyes with pain and confusion buried in hers. "I damn near got whiplash with how quickly the hate turned back into... into..."

"Love," Darien finished, still not quite understanding her unwillingness to use that particular all-important word. "I guess there really is a very fine line between the two."

She laughed softly, even though it really wasn't funny at all.

"It's not too little too late is it?" he questioned needing to know the answer before he spent the next several months pining away without her.

She shook her head. "No, it's not, but I've committed to this transfer and... and it will get me one step closer to the influence I really need to-" Her mouth snapped shut as if she had suddenly realized she had nearly spilled the beans, though on what he had no idea.

"You have plans and the Agency was holding you back." Obvious in retrospect, but not something he'd ever wondered about when they had been together. "And once I started being an idiot there was no real reason for you to stay."

She turned her head away for a long moment before responding. "Yes."

The cogs began turning in his brain as realization sank in. _He_ had been the reason she'd chosen to remain in San Diego when given the option to return to her family. She hadn't stayed because of the deal with the Official to protect her kids, or some visceral need to use her abilities for the greater good, no she'd stayed because she wanted to be with him and just a couple short months later he'd thrown that back in her face and all because he couldn't understand why she wouldn't marry him.

Ye gods he had to be the greatest fool on the planet. "So what now? I mean I can get with the friends with benefits program, but that's not what I want and it's not what you need."

"D, so long as you are happy and not so viciously angry with me I'll be fine. And that includes you finding someone else, be it short term or permanent."

That hadn't been his intent, but between the 'Fish sending him on seduction jobs and the preference for having sex on a regular basis, would probably be inevitable. He would be cranky and miserable celibate. "Were you... did you have a relationship while we were..." He trailed off not really certain he wanted to know the answer.

Alyx had clearly decided to no longer pull her punches when it came to them and reality. "No, no relationships, but did I have sex? When needed to complete the job, yes. Did I enjoy it? Usually. Was it anything like when we're together? Oh hell no. I'd've been locked in a cage more than once had my gifts become known to these guys. You, dearheart, are the only one I have no control with."

He did his best to hide the grin that wanted to spread across his face. She had told him that before, but he still found it hard to believe, and, granted, it made sex with her incredible and what he craved even when in the midst of the act with another. While the sex had often been good, it had never been the same and he had always known it never would be. Alyx had been right, no matter who else he slept with he'd always wanted it to be her.

Fine line between love and hate, indeed.

He scratched the back of his head, not certain where this left _them_. "So what does that make us? Are we... are we still broken?" As soon as he asked the question he knew the answer, they very much were, but the effort to mend had begun. One day they would not be quite so broken, and on another they would have healed this particular rift and moved on, just as life often did. He could only hope they'd would be moving on together.

The wan smile answered his question even before she spoke. "Yeah, we are, but at least we have the chance to get better."

"But how with you leaving?"

She shrugged. "We'll have to figure that out, I suppose." When he pouted, brow furrowing in his confusion and unhappiness she added, "D, this job I'm taking is a minimum of a two year commitment and will probably take longer and, yes, it's a big deal and something I _want_ to do, though not just to get away from here. There are several overriding reasons I took this position."

"But you won't tell me what it is?"

" 'Cause I'm under direct orders not to." She knuckled one eye. "I tell you, you tell someone, they tell someone else and it screws everything up."

"What? Is this some internal affairs thing?"

She quirked an eyebrow as her response.

"Oh... _Oh_," he said as he got what she couldn't say. "And you think the Agency could come under investigation?"

She pointedly did not say anything and that was answer enough.

"Okay, my lips will stay zipped, just... just give me a heads up if me and Hobbesy should run for the hills, please?"

She nodded. "That I can do, though if it does come to that take Claire on vacation with you, understood?"

Oh, yeah, he understood. If they had to run it would be for the hills, probably literally, and since the gland would most likely still be in his head, having the good Keeper along would be not only wise, but necessary. A red or silver-eyed madman on the loose would give the game away quickly no matter how far from the Agency they ran. And it wasn't like the Agency would be the only party interested in acquiring him and the tech in his head. "Will it come to that?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea, this... investigation is in the early stages yet, we have no clue where the tangled lines will lead."

"And you volunteered for this?"

She nodded. "I think some of the mess will tie back to the agency my... Jess worked for."

_Ah._ Now that made sense. While lots of people, companies, agencies wanted a piece of her, only that mystery agency her husband had worked for claimed to _own_ her, lock, stock and genetic material. If she could put them out of business, she and her kids would be lots safer. "If you need anything, and I mean _anything_, I want you to call. Hell, I'll be your Agency spy if that what it takes for you to resolve this... this... whatever it is successfully."

She grinned at him. "Thank you. I-"

Her words were interrupted by the announcement for boarding for her flight.

"And that is your cue to go," he said as he got to his feet and held out an unneeded hand to help her stand.

She took that help and smiled up at him, hands now twined together. "I'll call once I'm settled."

He shook his head. "You don't need to, I'm a big boy, I'll manage."

She patted his cheek. "I am aware. Maybe I just want to hear your voice."

He laughed softly, then leaned down to kiss her. "I am going to miss you very much, but I understand why you need to leave. Just... just take care of yourself so's I don't have to fly across country to save your ass."

"I'll do my best," she told him, eyes sparking in merriment. "Come on, you can deliver me to my ride."

He did, walking with her over to the line of passengers all gathering to enter the tunnel and the plane that waited at the far end. Alyx went straight to the front, others frowning until she produced the first class ticket from her bag. She stole one last kiss and with a pat on his arm walked away without a backward glance.

Darien stepped aside, allowing the other passengers to board and walked over to the nearest window with a view of the aircraft. There he waited, watched as the tunnel pulled back, the plane taxi away, and eventually launch itself into the sky.

Still, it was quite some time before he turned away to head for his sure to feel emptier than usual apartment.


	3. different

_different_

_._

The phone rang, dragging him up out a slumber he had only recently achieved thanks to a late night jaunt, a work-related jaunt admittedly, but one that had to be completed during the wee hours of the morning to insure success, which had been had. Hobbes more than satisfied with results of their mission. To the point he'd told Fawkes to sleep in and that he'd turn the files, all on one jump drive, over to the Official bright and early.

So the phone ringing caused more than a little irritation to be in his voice when he finally chose to answer.

"What?" he growled, certain it had to be Hobbes calling him.

"_Well, hello to you too," _said a soft voice, a very familiar voice, and one he hadn't been expecting to hear.

"Alyx?" He rolled over and opened one eye to glare at the clock mounted in the headboard of the huge bed. Yeah, he'd taken her up on her offer and now lived in her former apartment.

"_Yes, late night?"_

"Darlin', it's _still_ night here." Okay, so early morning if you wanted to get picky, but false dawn remained some time away.

"_Crap. Sorry, forgot to take the time difference into account, it's mid-morning here. I'll call back later."_

He woke up at those words. "No need, sweets, you I don't mind waking me up. Where the hell are you?" It would be just about dawn on the east coast, so if it were mid-morning she must been somewhere in Europe.

She laughed. "_That, my dear, is need to know. I was hoping to stop by, I'll be in your end of the planet for a few days._"

He had to be amused by her phrasing and her subtle way of saying her current job required around the world travel, which meant not the FBI or any other homebound agency. Maybe CIA or NSA, or even some new special agency/task force cobbled together just for this investigation. He hadn't asked, no matter how much he wanted to, and she hadn't told. "I've told you before, you can stop by anytime you like."

She laughed, and it sent a thrill through him. She was coming to town and he would get to see her in person for the first time in months. The best they'd managed prior to this had been a couple video chats, other than that texts had been their main form of communication, which, while better than nothing, remained far from enough. And while he'd taken her openness to pursue other relationships to heart, he'd not found anyone he had been even marginally interested in. So, yeah, he'd been on a few dates, had some fun at bars he liked to hang out at, but hadn't taken home anyone. He doubted he would have even if he'd been desperately horny as he had decided to not do anything to hurt Alyx ever again, and no matter what she said, if he had a dalliance other than for work, she would know and it would _hurt_ her. He wanted her back and would make every effort to not screw it up.

"_I'll call when I get in, we'll go to dinner. My treat._"

"We'll order in, my treat." Yes, nothing more than an excuse to have her alone with him and the hoped for opportunity for wild, sweat-drenched sex. "Can... can I let Hobbesy know you'll be in town?"

"_Certainly, I plan on taking him to lunch as well."_ She chuckled softly. "_This is a personal trip not business. Even I deserve a day off now and then."_

"Yes, you do." He yawned then, the sound surely transmitting across the distance. "Sorry."

"_No need to be, bub, I was the idiot who failed to add up time zones correctly. Get some sleep, with me on a different clock I'll be keeping you up well past even your bedtime once I'm there."_

He laughed. "I hope so. See you soon."

"_You will,_" she assured him, then hung up at her end.

He sighed and set his phone back down on the headboard the blue numbers on the clock telling him a mere five minutes had passed. Five minutes that had changed his plans for the rest of the week.

With a smile on his face he shifted until comfortable and allowed his weary body to fall back into slumber where the dreams were sure to be most pleasant.

. . .

He lay there panting, staring blindly at the wooden canopy above him, trying to not allow the Quicksilver to flow anymore than it already had. It wasn't like he'd have access to Counteragent until the morning and Claire would surely question the need, not that she wasn't permitted to know Alyx was in town, Darien just didn't want to have to explain it was due to the sex being that mind-blowingly good.

"Damn, girl, where did you learn that?"

She laughed, still sitting astride him, cocked her head to the side and said, "A brothel in Italy." She leaned forward and patted him on the cheek. " 'Sides you weren't so bad yourself."

He growled softly, grasping her hand and tugging until their faces were mere inches apart. Raising his head the short distance he kissed her, causing her to sigh softly. "I was awesome," he informed her when he pulled back, tucking both hands behind his head and gazing up at her smugly.

"Eh, I've had better," she replied as she sat back up.

"Alyx," he laughed, certain that the better was him, "you so have not."

She shrugged a hint of a grin on her lips.

This caused Darien's confidence, what little there was of it, to slip away like water down a drain. Just because he hadn't been seeing anyone else didn't mean she hadn't. This had always been an issue between them, even if she did not realize it. She... she was too good for him, better than him in so many ways and deserving of someone far better than he could ever hope to be, and he had tried, tried so hard to be better, to be a man worthy of her and still he failed time and time again. Maybe... maybe it was time to let her go, no matter how much he did not want to. No matter how much it would hurt him. He would simply hold her back.

He swallowed hard, the smile long gone from his lips, as he turned away from her, not wanting to admit aloud the realization he'd just come to. This time, however, he would be walking away for all the right reasons.

"D?" she questioned, the humor in her voice having turned to confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really."

She poked him on the forehead, her nail bit in hard enough to actually hurt. "Liar." The she leaned down to kiss the spot, her lips lingering for a long moment, causing him to sigh softly. "Why is this so hard for you?" she whispered, her words echoing in his mind, curling up inside with a feeling of comfort and concern.

He wished he knew how to answer that. How do you tell someone you want to break up with them so they would have the chance to truly be happy. Shit. She would understand since this was how she had treated him and their relationship from day one. But she had conditions: if it would make him happy.

And he would be forced to reluctantly admit that he _would not_. However, this would be for her benefit and not his. So, would she be happy should he walk away? He had to admit that he didn't know that answer to that particular question and was more than a touch fearful to ask, and not solely because he could lose her... and not just for a few months, but forever.

After everything they'd been through he'd made every effort to be straight with her about everything. Well, everything that wasn't need-to-know work related. The truth, what little of their lives actually existed in that fairy tale realm, had become of the utmost importance to him.

"I... I want you to be happy, I'm just not certain it can be with me," he whispered hoarsely. Man, that had been hard to admit, but it needed to be done. She needed the opportunity to walk away without feeling guilty. Heart lodged firmly in his throat he waited for her to say something... anything.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked sounding as confused as she looked.

He sighed and shook his head. "No, I'm letting you go. That's not the same."

"Letting me..." She rolled away ending up on the far side of the bed on her back, staring up at the canopy with it's celtic designs, that he'd had painted once the bed had become his, blues and greens and yellows to contrast with the dark-stained wood. "Do you want me to... go?"

There was something in her voice, a tightness, a rawness, a deep pain that she feared sharing and he knew that he had put it there. But this time his intention wasn't to hurt her, but free her, to allow her the opportunity to be everything she could be without having to worry about the albatross hanging about her neck that he believed he had become.

He rolled onto his side and reached out to her, knuckles rubbing along her cheek. "No, I don't, but that doesn't mean I should hold you back."

"Hold me back? In what way are you holding me back?"

He closed his eyes for a long moment. "You've got this new job, a chance to be with your kids again, hell, working with your brother and I just keep dragging you back here, the place you wanted to get away from.

"I came of my own free will and intend to do so again... Intended to anyway, I'm guessing you'd prefer if I didn't." He could feel that it took an act of will for her to not pull away. Her control had improved so much that if he hadn't been touching her he would have had no clue about how hurt and rejected she felt.

He grasped one of her hands and pulled it up to his lips to kiss her fingers gently. "I am not rejecting you, I love you, but loving someone means doing the right thing... no matter how much it hurts." He kissed the back of her hand, wishing he never had to stop. "You taught me that."

"Looks like I need to teach you the proper time to use that lesson," she grumbled, clearly unhappy. "What's the real reason, Darien? You've been waiting impatiently for me to come visit and now you're telling me to never come back again? What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, I swear it."

"Then why?"

For an instant he was tempted to leave her stranded at sea, not able to understand and unable to comprehend why they were falling apart from each other - just as he had felt when she had refused to marry him. But the instant passed and he sighed heavily, one hand rubbing his face as he tried to put the confused emotions into coherent words. "Because..." He turned away, staring out across into the inky darkness of the room. "Because you deserve better." He shut his eyes then, wanting nothing more than to remember how she looked right now since once this conversation was over he would no longer have her as his own. "Better than a thief and a con-man who is too stupid to realize the truth before someone gets hurt." He felt her fingers on his jaw, allowed her to turn his head and opened his eyes to meet hers. "That's why."

"Don't you think I can decide what I _deserve_?" she questioned, her tone as serious as her look.

"It's not that, it's... it's more that I basically forced you into this relationship, one that you never really wanted. And... and I know you can do better," he finished, getting the words out as fast as he could to prevent her from interrupting.

She sighed heavily, her touch revealing the conflicted emotions rolling through her; part of her wanting to berate him for being an idiot, part of her wanting to growl and stalk away in frustration, part wanting to pull him close and hold on tight, but none of her agreed with his words. She did not believe she could do better and that... that was the crux of the problem. He could see it where she could not.

"You think you're not good enough for me? Me? Who, if you want to get nitpicky, is an adulterer and walked away from her children as if they meant nothing to her. In some people's opinion's that's worse than being a thief."

"Alyx-"

She shook her head silencing him. "You truly believe you are not worthy of me."

A statement and not a question, but he nodded in agreement anyway. "Then change that."

He blinked. "Uh, what?"

She smiled, the corners of her lips curling up every so slightly. "How would you feel worthy of me?"

What a question. And more, one he'd never thought to ask himself. "I... I don't know."

"Silly," she said, one finger tapping him on the nose. "Yet you think I deserve someone better. Why can't you be that person?"

"Uh, because I'm not?" He had no clue where she was going with this, but he could safely say he was heading towards the land of deeply confused.

"Not now, obviously, but you could be... if you wanted to." She shook her head at his blank look. "Please keep in mind that this is your issue not mine, and maybe if you can't see the answer it could be because you really do not want to be in this relationship. Not sewn enough wild oats, yet?"

"What? No? I want to be with you, I... I just don't think-"

She laughed bitterly. "Clearly not." She rolled away, sitting up on the edge of the bed, looking about for her clothes, which were strewn across the apartment floor, not a single stitch anywhere near the bed. She tugged the top sheet loose and wrapped it about herself as she stood. "Do you really hate me this much?" she asked at a bare whisper.

He reached for her, but she adroitly stepped away, leaving his hand to hang in the air for a long moment before he let it drop onto the bed. "I don't hate you and I am not angry with you and you did nothing wrong other than give me another chance I don't deserve."

"Then why did you practically beg me for it?" she snapped, frustration evident in her tone and the tense muscles of her back. She hadn't moved more than a few steps out of reach, close enough for him to see, but not to touch. An intentional move on her part, he was certain, but a good one. It forced him to make a decision, go after her or let her go. The right thing to do would be to let her go, but what he wanted, what he _needed_ was her, so he threw off the remaining covers and moved quickly to her, setting a single hand upon her back. He didn't say a word, the muscles trembling beneath his palm.

"Because I also can't let you go," he finally told her. "I've never been good at doing the right thing," he groused, more at himself than anything, though it was true enough.

"Yet, you still don't feel you are good enough to be with me?" she asked, voice tight.

He could feel she wanted to step away, but his hand still upon her kept her from moving. "We're still broken, remember? Just in more ways than one I suppose. Don't you ever have second... third thoughts about... us?"

She shook her head. "No. Once I committed to us there was no going back."

He hadn't realized that. He'd walked away and she had still hung on, hoping for the day he'd stop being a royal fuck up. "You are too good for me."

She growled softly and spun about. "So change that."

"How?" he asked, not wanting to rehash the same argument again.

She turned about, one hand coming up to rub her forehead, the other holding the sheet firmly in place, while he stood there naked and, now, slightly uncomfortable at that fact. "We jumped into this both times. Maybe... maybe we just need to take a step back."

Finally, she agreed with him. "How far back?"

"You think you're not good enough for me? Prove to yourself you are."

Uh... Now that had not been part of the plan, especially for a plan as unformed as this one had been. "So, what? We date or something?"

She nodded. "If that's what you would like."

He shook his head and stepped away, not certain he understood what she meant. He didn't want to give her up, she didn't want him to let her go even though it would be the smart... the right thing to do for her, but she wanted to step back? Wasn't that the same thing as dumping him, but being more polite about it? "Kinda hard to date when we're a couple thousand miles apart, ain't it?"

She shrugged. "You're the one having issues with us, not me." She cocked her head to the side. "When you were with Casey, did you date or jump right into bed?"

Darien tried to hide the twitch but failed miserably based on the look on her face. "We dated for months before we... we slept together." No reason to be embarrassed about it, Alyx might not know all the details, but she wasn't a fool, she knew he had loved Casey and if things had gone differently might still have been with her today, which would have made this entire conversation moot, but her point had been made.

Casey had no clue who he really was. In fact, he'd made every effort to hide it from her, which was part of the reason why they had dated so long before falling into bed. And when she had discovered the truth, she had walked away, not able to accept him for who he truly was. Yeah, he had lied about parts of his life, but he had never lied about how he'd felt about her. He had loved Casey, still loved her in some ways, but those feelings had been overshadowed by Alyx and her complete and total capture of his heart and soul.

He had never really felt worthy of Casey because of his lies and deceptions, so why did he feel the same for Alyx who had always known the truth? She was right, the issue was all his, as she had never had a problem with who or what he was. She took the good and the bad and just accepted it, accepted him and for all that he appreciated it, he still found it difficult to comprehend.

"So, didn't we... kinda."

"Emphasis on kinda. We also didn't exactly date. We got thrown together and... and you wanted me from the first moment." She gave him a wan smile. "Even though you were more than a touched freaked at falling for someone you thought was a child."

Darien felt heat rise to his cheeks. He hadn't realized until this moment that she knew that. He'd never told her, but given her control had been shaky at best and downright nonexistent at worst, it was little wonder that she knew the truth, more that she had kept it to herself all this time. "Wasn't like I believed in love at first sight."

"Wasn't like you wanted to be in love, not so soon after Casey."

"True 'nuff." This turn in their discussion did nothing to solve the problem at hand. It caused more, truth be told, as it made him aware that she had known for a very long time how he felt about her. Yeah, he'd denied it, tried to convince himself that it couldn't be possible, that he had not fallen for this child-like woman after one look into her eyes, and yet... yet that is exactly what had happened, and his denials, no matter how justified, would change nothing.

The heart wanted what the heart wanted. And after a time far more than his heart had been attracted to her.

And the further he fell, the harder she had tried to push him away until she'd been sent away, then and only then had she given in and finally admitted that she cared about him. The one time they had tried to date, he had fucked it up by being an overbearing jealous bear and damn near screwing up the case they had been working on.

After surviving a misogynistic, abusive husband it was little wonder she'd wanted no part of dealing with his jealousy issues and had taken the step back then. He had made every effort to curb those tendencies, but hadn't always succeeded. And the opposite hadn't worked either; sleeping with all those women hadn't caused any reaction beyond her wanting to be as far away as possible from him and his trysts.

"Darien, I'm not trying to make you do anything here. I am content with the way things stand now. It's not optimal, but until this job is complete we can't do much else." She sat down on the sofa and looked up at him, standing there naked and probably looking confused and uncertain.

No, it definitely wasn't optimal, but it was all they had. "Why can't I let you go?" he asked of the air about him.

"Probably for the same reason I am unable to do the same. Too bad we both have this deep-seated fear of being hurt. I wouldn't leave because of it and you still fear I will. Do you really think they all left because you did something wrong?"

Christ, that question hit far too close to the mark and left him feeling far more naked and vulnerable than he already was. "What else could it be? It wasn't because I didn't love them enough." He hadn't planned on responding, but the words slipped out before he could prevent them.

"Ah, D, I'm so sorry. I thought that if I left, you would hurt less. I never intended to cause you more pain."

He hadn't thought she had noticed. She had gone blithely about her business and kept her nose far out of his. Understandable, given he had appeared to want nothing to do with her and had used the mental connection between them to cause her as much pain and discomfort as possible.

But they knew all this and discussing the past to death did nothing to get them to their future. He went to her, cupping her chin with his fingers. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I fucked us up and... and apparently it's not going to be easy putting this Humpty back together again." He gave her a tiny smile, which she returned. "Maybe a step back is the right way to go. We need to learn who we are again. Need a chance to let go of the hurt we both still feel."

She nodded. "Okay." Then she got to her feet, went on her tiptoes to kiss him then stepped away, walking about the room to gather up her clothes, which she took into the bathroom with her.

Feeling like an idiot standing there naked in front of his floor to ceiling windows, he went hunting for, found, and pulled on his pants, not having a clue what would be happening next.

Next was her coming out of the bathroom fully dressed, sans shoes to head straight for her suitcase.

"Alyx?" He knew he sounded pitiful and confused, but it had not been his intent to chase her away. He still needed her.

"I'm checking into a hotel," she told him. "If this is going to work, we need to put space between us. We're good at the sex, but we need to work on _us_."

Sadly, she wasn't wrong. The sex was beyond amazing, but _them_ still remained cracked and broken. "Can we still see each other?"

"Of course," she assured him. "I'll let you know where I'm staying and you can take me to dinner."

"A date?"

She laughed. "Seems to be the place to start. You know, like normal people?" She moved closer to him, one hand coming to rest on his forearm. "I'm not giving up and I'm not running away, just changing the perspective, no more no less."

Her touch allowed him to feel that she meant every word, and that she had her own misgivings about leaving, but it was also clear that she intended to. "Alyx, I get it and it's worth a try, 'cause I won't lose you, even if I am being an idiot trying to push you away. I had... have the best of intentions."

She sighed softly. "I know you do, but letting me go won't make me happy, just to put that out there."

"Being with me isn't doing it either," he pointed out, certain it was the truth.

"It's still better than being without you. It's difficult to forgive when you can't forget," she told him, voice soft. She didn't want to hold onto the hurt and pain, but she had no real way to let it go either. Best they could hope for would be to dull the pain of those old memories with new ones, new good ones, but it was turning out to be harder than he had anticipated.

He cupped her face in his hands, burying his fingers in the bright coils of hair. "I love you, Alyx," he told her in no uncertain terms and then kissed her, making every effort to put all he felt into the kiss so that she would hopefully believe him this time.

He pulled away first, to rest his forehead against hers. "I know you do, bub. That has never been the issue." She kissed him on the cheek and stepped back. "I'll call you."

And with that she slid open the door and left.


	4. hopeless

_hopeless_

.

"What the hell is going on, Hobbes?" Darien grouched as he dragged his still sleeping body up the stairs in the pre-dawn darkness.

"Nothing good, that's for frickin' sure," Hobbes grouched, not looking too thrilled about the situation either. "Eberts called and told me to get you and get the two of us down here soonest. That's_ all_ I know."

"Great, just great. This could be about anything," Darien grumbled rubbing the back of his head. He'd only been asleep for a couple of hours when Bobby had shown up at his door to drag him out of bed. The two of them had wrapped a case late in the afternoon and had gone out for a couple of job well done drinks after, nothing unusual, and nothing exciting. He'd been hoping for a call from Alyx, but had settled for an email instead. She'd been busy, bouncing from place to place for the last several months as she followed one particularly twisted and tangled trail. She'd not been able to elaborate, which he understood. Just one wrong word by him at the wrong time could threaten not just her but her entire team.

"Or nothing. Things have been going well lately, could be the boss just yanking our chains," Hobbes suggested, the idea not as far fetched as one might think. Since Alyx had left, power had shifted dramatically at the Agency. The Official trying to shorten Darien's leash by no longer permitting use of the inhibitor, but, thankfully, Claire had nixed that idea citing the risk of permanently losing their only invisible agent that much sooner if he should develop a tolerance to the Counteragent.

They could hear raised voices in the office as they neared the door and that worried Darien, because the Official only got his dander up when things had gone truly sideways. He and Hobbes glanced at each other before his partner reached for the doorknob and, with some trepidation, opened the door.

The sounds from within cut off instantly, which didn't surprise Darien all that much, the three new suits within did, especially since one of whom was Michael, Alyx's brother.

He knew they were working together on this big IA project but she had not given him any details, just the promise of a warning should the shit be about to hit the fan at the Agency. A warning that had not happened, so either she knew nothing about this visit or things did not look as bad as it appeared.

Then again, based on the flushed angry look on the Official's face, the situation was most certainly not all hearts and flowers. Something serious was going down, serious enough to drag the top two agents in before false dawn had become even a thought in the sky. Eberts stood ramrod straight in his usual spot, while their Boss stormed about in front of the desk, the bluster just that, Darien suspected. Of course, whatever he'd been ranting about cut short when they stepped into the room and his focus swung to them.

"Good of you to finally join us," he snapped, the sarcasm dripping off the words. "We have a situation."

Darien shrugged. "Kinda figured that given the early morning rousting. What's up?" His eyes traveled from his overweight boss around the room, past two agents he did not know and that had probably come with Mike - Agent Corvan he corrected reminded himself, not likely the man was here on a personal visit - to meet the eyes of an exhausted looking Claire standing in the far corner, looking for all the world like one of her lab rats who had found itself trapped in a dead end of a maze, to meet the eyes of the obvious agent in charge of this mysterious situation. Mike gave him a nod then returned his focus to the Official.

"You okay, Keep?" Hobbes asked when he spotted her trying to be unobtrusive and all but hiding from the visiting agents.

"Not particularly, but not injured either," she answered, her glares aimed at both the Official and Mike, which Darien found quite interesting.

"What is going on, Corvan?" Darien kept his tone neutral, not wanting to influence the response in a specific direction.

"He claims we have a mole in the Agency," Eberts stated, the hint of disdain audible in his tone.

"And?" Hobbes commented as he walked over to Claire and encouraged her out of the corner she'd backed into and to a seat at the conference table.

"You don't seem surprised," Corvan said, words aimed at Hobbes, but his focus clearly on Darien, which would have been disconcerting if he hadn't had inside info on the big picture.

Hobbes snorted as he took of a protective stance behind the good Keeper. "We're a spy agency, of course we have moles. Who they report to is the issue."

That got Mike's dour countenance to crack the tiniest of bits. "A valid point." He turned to the Official who had paused his pacing to lean back on his desk. "Wouldn't you agree?"

The Official growled softly. "But you have no proof."

"We have enough to know the information leaked came from this building and are certain the access to said information is restricted. The general information is known, but not the details that have been discovered... elsewhere. So unless you've been sharing your toys..."

The Official shook his head. "No. But there are those outside this agency who have been granted full disclosure." The implication, of course, that they were the leak and simply made it look as if the data came from here.

Mike shook his head. "The information was followed back to here."

Eberts twitched. "Not possible. Too many data streams to wade through for a trace of that type to ever hope to be accurate."

The corners of Mike's lips turned up ever so slightly. "Very possible, with the right... equipment."

That tiny pause gave the game away to Darien. There may have been computers involved, but the trace itself had been done a by a human, one who could send her mind into the vastness of the web and move freely within. Alyx had done the trace, and it had led her right back to San Diego and the Agency. "Who is it? You either think it's one of us or none of us, else you wouldn't have us here at this ungodly hour."

Mike tried to look serious, but Darien could tell he was amused by Darien's seemingly careless attitude. "That is a good question. While we can trace a particular computer IP, that does not necessarily implicate the person to whom the computer belongs." He turned his head ever so slightly to focus on Claire who blanched.

Hobbes shifted, rolling his shoulders and coming to his full height. "It ain't the Keep."

Mike shrugged. "I haven't said it is, yet several of the packages were sent directly from her computer in Lab 101."

The Official harrumphed. "Not possible. The system with the information in question is not connected to any outside line."

"We are aware," Mike stated, bland look on his face never wavering. "It is still where the information came from."

"If the trail leads back to there, then it's not a secure as you thought," Darien pointed out, earning a glare from his boss for his trouble. "Sorry, but an ethernet cable isn't the only way in. If it's the Keep system, then it's connected to the main servers, which does have outside connections."

"The Keep system only talks to the main at certain times as backup storage, those files are _not_ accessible as they are locked. Without the password, which is random and changed hourly, not even I can get in," Eberts insisted, sounding too smug for the situation.

"Unless someone altered the programming," Hobbes said in a soft voice. He cocked his head as he eyed Eberts warily. "A virus, trojan, worm program with a just a couple lines of code could give access not only to the locked files on the server, but through it directly to the Keep system." He rubbed the top of his head and sighed in irritation. "Hell, it could be rigged to automatically send info every time that back-up connection opens. Look just like Claire were sending top secret info and she wouldn't even know it."

Mike turned his head ot the agent to his right and nodded. The man quickly left the room, most likely to go check the Agency systems for malware that could pull off a trick like that.

Eberts shook his head. "Not possible, the entire system, including all desktops and the Keep's computers are checked regularly. Any malware would have been detected and removed."

"Even if it had been integrated into the existing software?" Hobbes questioned.

"That would require someone with detailed and intimate knowledge of the system and how it works," Eberts sneered.

"No it wouldn't," Claire argued. "It would simply require someone able to follow directions and access to a system associated with the main. The program could have even been snuck in via a seemingly harmless internet connection."

Eberts looked ready to spit nails at having his expertise argued with. Granted he had been the resident geek here at the Agency... until Alyx had shown up. She had a natural affinity for computers that blew Eberts' skills right out of the water, much to the top lackey's dismay and disgruntlement.

"So, what you are saying, Eberts, is that _you_ are the only one who could have planted the malware? Is that it?" Darien saw the look of utter disdain and anger flit across Eberts' face as he turned to glare at Darien, but it was swiftly swallowed by the man's usual blank stare. Could it be possible? Could Eberts be the mole? Sweet, shy, bookish Eberts? Who had a crush on Alyx from almost day one?

"Of course not," Eberts backpedaled quickly. "Just someone with my level of skill and familiarity with the programming. Miss Silver could have easily done it, for example."

_Oooo, nice deflection,_ Darien thought, seeing it for what it was. "Except the information stolen was hers, right?" They hadn't been told, but it was pretty obvious even to him, that this was all about her. Given she was chasing her husband's employers it only made sense.

"That would be correct," Mike answered, his eyes never leaving Eberts as if his suspicions agreed with Darien's own, no matter how little sense they made.

"Do you know where the information went?" The Official asked, almost as if capitulating. He knew the info had been stolen, had probably been trying to discover who the leak was and had failed, relying on his computer expert to shoulder the majority of the work. However, if said computer expert was the mole... little wonder the culprit had not been caught.

"Yes, and no," Mike answered, which should have irritated the fuck out of the Official, but he only nodded as if discerning the true meaning of that non-answer.

"You'll keep me in the loop?" the Official requested, while Eberts turned beet red, taking the digging into his precious computer system personally.

Mike shook his head. "I can't promise that."

"Yeah, Chief, you could be the one under investigation," Hobbes stated as if it wasn't obvious to everyone in the room.

Darien knew the boss wasn't the leak, no way he'd compromise his precious position or agency for anything, especially not for the QSX project. No, there were those who wanted Alyx... Michele badly, and would do anything to control her. Thankfully she wasn't easy to control. And while the Official wanted her back working for him, he would not go about it this way. No, he'd work the system until she came back on her own, stronger, more skilled and best of all more dangerous. "No, whoever the mole is was here before Alyx arrived and got activated after."

Mike's eyes widened ever so slightly, as if surprised that Darien had figured it out so easily. "That is the same conclusion we have come to."

"Who do they work for?" Claire asked, her job as much on the line as everyone elses. Perhaps more since the supposed leak appeared to originate from her computers.

"That we have yet to ascertain," Mike responded.

Darien had a good guess, but refused to voice it aloud and risk jinxing this endeavor. As if he'd predicted it the agent Mike had sent scurrying off returned, hustled over to his superior and proceeded to whisper in his ear. Mike kept his look bland, but Darien could see the tightening about his eyes. He was not a happy camper. Finally he said in a quiet voice, "Do it." The agent hurried back out of the room, the door shut before Mike turned back to the Official.

"Well?"

"We have identified two moles. They will be picked up within the hour."

"Two? Not possible," the Official stated, certain that he could not have made such errors in judgment.

"We will know for certain once I've had the chance to speak with them." Mike didn't bat an eye, not about to argue with the Official when the truth would be known soon enough. "In the meantime there is another I would like to question."

"Another?" Hobbes sounded incredulous.

"Yeah," Darien agreed. "When did they get to you, Eberts?"

Eberts blinked, a look of honest confusion crossing his features. "I have no idea what you are talking about," he stuttered out.

Darien glanced at Mike who, thankfully, did not look upset that he'd dropped that bombshell into the room, he also didn't disagree. "You are the one who said that changing the code would require someone of your skill."

"That doesn't mean I did it," he argued, sounding defensive. "As the Keeper pointed out, _anyone_ could have with the right direction."

"Of course, he might not have be aware that he modified the programming," a new voice said, a female voice. A very familiar female voice.

Darien spun about to see Alyx appear in a shower of Quicksilver flakes. He could only wonder how long she had been standing there waiting for the perfect moment to make her dramatic entrance. He felt her power wash across him, making him want to bask in the energy, then she winked before straightening her shoulders in preparation for the confrontation to come.

"Agent Silver, good to see you," the Official stated, hiding his surprise well.

Hobbes looked like he wanted to cheer, the grin on his face was so broad, but for all that they were happy to see Alyx, the seriousness of the situation was not lost upon them.

"Charlie, wish I could say it was under better circumstances." Alyx looked grim, her focus on Eberts and no one else, as if waiting for him to make his move. "Sims and Turner will be in custody shortly."

Hobbes gave a low whistle. "Sims I can buy, but Turner? She's in Human Resources, don't have any real contact with the agents."

"But she has access to all the files, including scheduling and reports," Claire pointed out. "Bloody hell, how long has this been going on?"

"Too long," Mike told them. "They have accumulated more than enough data from this agency to step up their efforts."

"Efforts at what?" Hobbes asked, eyeing Eberts warily.

"Ah, another good question," Alyx said striding slowly towards the man. "I suppose that would depend on the the day, the only thing I know for certain is they are convinced they need me for their grand plan to succeed."

"Kid, you ain't making much sense." Hobbes seemed to get that something serious was going down, but couldn't quite grasp that Eberts was part of it. Honestly, it surprised the hell out of Darien, and yet made perfect sense. Who would suspect the obsequious kiss-ass and file clerk that would literally shut up on command. If that command came from the Official, that is.

Could he really be an undercover agent?

Darien couldn't say no, no matter how far fetched it seemed to be. Plus he would assume that Mike and Alyx wouldn't be here, making such accusations without some sort of proof.

"Bobby, that agency her husband belonged to," Claire reminded, sounding as disbelieving as his partner.

"Exactly," Alyx agreed. "They've damn near perfected a sleeper agent program. Some have no idea they're even part of it until too late." She looked over at her brother. "He still feels like Eberts to me, what do you get?"

Mike's eyes narrowed, head tipping slightly to one side as he focused. "The cover is solid. He'll need a push."

Alyx smiled, and even Darien's hair stood on end. Whatever she was about to do, Eberts was not going to enjoy it.

"Agent Silver I cannot-"

The other bookend that had up until now not moved took two steps towards the Official who shut up instantly. "You will not interfere," he said, making it clear it was not a request.

Whatever was happening here, their power outranked the Official's, by a factor of ten.

"So, Eberts," Alyx began only to stop as his entire demeanor changed.

Gone was the lacky, the right hand man who touched nothing dirtier than toner on any given day, who cooked the books more often than actual meals for himself. No, whoever now stood before them had the stance and hard eyed look of a well-trained agent. One who'd just had his cover blown.

Alyx pouted. "Not much of a push at all."

Mike's eyes had narrowed. "Different programming parameters."

"Obviously," Eberts stated, sounding nothing like the man they'd known for a couple years now.

Even the Official looked shocked. "How long?"

"Long before you recruited me, so don't feel bad. Until Alyx arrived there was very little information of use to funnel to my superiors."

The Official appeared to be insulted by that, Darien had to agree, an invisible man wasn't of interest? "I doubt that," he said, glancing over at Alyx just in case he was screwing things up by poking Eberts with verbal sticks. Given the way she was concentrating, his poking and the responses were permitting her to delve deeper into the man's mind and the secrets he held within.

Eberts snorted. "While the QS-9000 project was of definite interest to us, it was also of little consequence, until it led you to... Alyx."

"And she is of great interest to you, is she not?" Michael questioned though the answer was obvious.

"She has exceeded our wildest expectations even with this Agency making every effort to screw it up," Eberts sneered with a sideways glance over at his... former boss. "We'll make certain she's ready when the time comes."

"Ready for what?" Hobbes asked, just as curious as the rest of them as to the answer. They already had one group supposedly readying the world for a great cataclysm that might never happen, who knew what this set of whack jobs were preparing for.

Eberts shook his head and tsked. "You want to know, you have to play the game _much_ better." Then like a switch had been flipped the stranger wearing Eberts' face vanished, leaving the man they thought they had known behind to look about the room with an air of confusion. "Sir?"

The Official turned to Alyx. "You knew?"

"Not until recently, I swear it." She looked most unhappy. "Eberts was my friend. I've been in contact with him regularly since I left here. We did not warn you we were coming for obvious reasons."

Because what the Official knew, Eberts knew, and that would have given him and the other moles a chance to get away.

"They are all yours," the Official told them, though there had been no chance that the trio would not have been taken into custody.

Two agents that had been waiting outside, swung open the door and stepped in, making a beeline for Eberts who still seemed to have no comprehension of what was taking place.

"Sir?"

"You will go with them and cooperate fully, understood?" the Official ordered, his usual stern tone lacking as the full reality of the damage registered.

"Yes, sir," Eberts agreed sounding meek. The two agents did not cuff him, but it was made eminently clear that he would not be going anywhere they did not approve of.

Silence reigned in the room until the three had left and been gone for several minutes. Claire broke it first.

"Eberts? I find that very hard to believe even after what I've just seen."

Alyx sighed heavily. "Neither did I at first, but... Here we are." She turned to the Official. "My apologies for the lack of a heads up, but we couldn't risk them getting away."

The Official shook his head and shuffled back to his desk, settling heavily in his chair with decided creaking. "My computer system?"

"Will be scrubbed before I leave. I can't take back the data they already have, but they will get nothing else from this Agency," Alyx assured him.

"So, it'll go back to business as usual," Hobbes said, though the tone suggested it was a question far more than a statement.

"Mostly," Mike responded. "We will recommend certain security upgrades, but you are not obligated to use them."

"Written by you?" the Official asked of Alyx who nodded. "Who are these people?"

"I wish we knew." Alyx grabbed a chair at the conference table and sat down looking tired. "We've dug deep enough to know they once were a group called Mirage."

"It was decommissioned decades ago, the personnel absorbed into other agencies, but the agent in charge apparently continued his agency objective if far more covertly." Mike paced the length of the room by the windows, perhaps unable to settle the way Alyx had, though Darien had to admit that she looked like she'd rather be pacing, the tension in her shoulders obvious to him.

"Their purpose?" Claire asked, though all of them were wondering the same thing.

"Mirage was a watchdog group, looking for traitors and moles within the system," Hobbes said with a frown, "but..." He shook his head. "I always thought they were the equivalent of a government urban legend."

The Official huffed. "They were real, another cold war relic like this Agency. There's been rumors for... decades that they simply went underground, funding still being funneled to them through dozens of sources, the mandate unchanged, but no one, and I mean no one, was willing to confirm it."

"Justifiably," Mike commented. "They don't leave much behind when they target someone."

"We know they recruit those in existing agencies, using their original mandate as bait - protect from within - but some, like Eberts, end up as deep cover agents, complete with alternate personality programming."

"Like what Heilberg did to you," Hobbes stated, the frown growing even deeper as he contemplated the ramifications of that.

"Exactly," Alyx agreed. "We know Heilberg outsourced for them, however his technique has a high failure rate when activated. Others..." She shook her head. "Even I can't detect the layered personalities. The man we knew as Eberts may have never been a real person, but a cover identity over the spy identity, over the real person. It takes two of us," she nodded at her brother, "to peel back the layers, and even then we have a fifty percent failure rate."

"You can't break the programming?" Claire asked in true curiosity.

"Not precisely. Most are programmed to die if pushed too far. Alyx only recently discovered she can shut off the programming completely, but the triggers in the brain vary from person to person so it's tricky at best." Mike rolled his shoulders. "Which we need to get to." He turned to the Official. "Due to the special circumstances we were granted permission to explain some of what we are doing to you, but as of now you, all of you, are under direct orders to disclose nothing to anyone, including your superiors. A cover story for the loss of the agents will be created, copies of which you will receive by tomorrow morning, just follow the script and you'll be fine."

The Official pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Understood. I appreciate the additional information. How long before we can get back to business?"

"Three days. I'll handle the system upgrades personally," Alyx told him, putting in the effort to smile for her former boss, as she got to her feet. "You got off easy, we've had to shut down entire divisions for weeks to clear out the bugs left behind."

"Good enough." The Official sounded disheartened, but it wasn't as if he had the power to change any of this.

As if planned both she and her brother headed for the door without so much as a by your leave. Darien glanced about noting the shellshock on the faces of everyone in the room, except the lone agent that had remained behind, probably to get to work on cleaning up some of the internal mess. No one moved or said anything, which made him wonder if the siblings had done something to discourage them from following. Always one to buck the trends he got to his feet and went after them, well, after Alyx, hoping for a just a few moments alone before this nasty business swept her up in its embrace and kept her too busy for the likes of him.

They were just turning the corner towards the stairwell when he stuck his head out to see which way they had gone, rushing to catch up with them he called out, "Hey, hold up a sec."

Alyx stopped and looked over her shoulder with a smile lighting up her face. "Hey, D," she greeted as he skidded to a halt on the worn smooth linoleum. Probably time to replace his sneakers if the tread were gone enough for him to be sliding in here. She set a hand on Mike's arm. "I'll be down in five."

Mike nodded. "Good to see you, Fawkes."

"You too," Darien said with a nod, then Mike left through the double doors, probably heading down to the parking garage where their far classier than anything the Agency had vehicle waited. "I know this is a work trip, but any chance we can get together?" There was no point in being upset that she had not informed him she would be in town given the circumstances, who knew how far the bugging went. His home phone, hell his cell phone or laptop could have trackers, especially the computer since he'd had Eberts install some of the programs. "Crap."

"I'll check your personal items, everyone's actually, but yours I will do straight away." She sidled closer, set her hands on his hips, and went up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. "I fully intended to say hi before I left, promise, but this work takes priority."

"Not complaining. I am more than happy to see you even if it's only for work." However, he would be even happier to spend some off the clock time with her if they could wrangle it. With a soft sigh he took advantage of the moment and kissed her, making the effort to communicate his unadulterated pleasure at her unexpected presence. He'd missed her a lot, and with their stepping things back to dating first, bed eventually, it had been an interesting few months, with most of those _dates_ via video chat, which is why he'd broken down and bought the computer in the first place.

She pulled away first, not wanting to, but needing to. "I'll stop by later."

"We're talking after midnight later, aren't we?" he questioned with a grin.

"Yeah, if that's okay?"

"Very okay," he assured her. "I'll run those security programs you wrote me and see if I can shorten your work time a smidge."

She chuckled. "Not necessary, but if it'll keep you from pacing while waiting for me to show up, go right ahead." She stole another moment, leaning forward to rest her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms about her, holding on while he could. "Want me to call first?"

"No. If I can't manage to stay awake I'll nap on the sofa and you can wake me up. I can guarantee I won't mind one bit." He rested his chin atop her head, missing this, the closeness, the being able to hold her in his arms, far more than the sex.

*_I missed you too,_* and with the words came emotions, all tangled up and needy and real, and just what he needed. It was always nice to know you were missed just as much as you had been missing.

He sighed softly and stepped back, hands moving to rest on her shoulders. "You have work to do," he told her, wishing it weren't true, but not upset with her for the need.

She chuckled dryly. "So do you. I'm betting the 'Fish is gonna turn this place upside down over the next few days."

Darien groaned. She was right and he knew it. He wouldn't be surprised if there was a complete shuffle of personnel over the next few weeks, though maybe not. If these guys could hide under seemingly ordinary people like Eberts, then anyone new that he hired could be yet another mole. "Oh, this is so fucked up. What's he gonna do without Eberts?"

"He'll manage and I have a few people I plan to suggest as replacements. People I'm reasonably certain are not part of this Mirage." She smiled up at him. "The Agency has survived far worse than this, trust me on that one."

"I do, you know. Trust you, that is." He wasn't certain he'd ever told her that and now seemed like an appropriate time to do so.

"I know, but I must run. I have some interrogations to start."

"Later?" He questioned as he stepped back, putting that needed distance between them so that she felt able to leave.

"Definitely," she assured him, then turned and went through the double doors to the stairwell.

Darien turned about to head back to his Boss and find out what they would be doing next.


	5. burning bridges

_burning bridges_

_._

Darien had gone full out for this... date. They hadn't had a lot of time for romancing the first time they'd gotten together, the exact opposite, in fact, so he'd decided what the hell and went for it. She'd been beautifully stunned when she'd walked in the door to discover the candles and flowers and wine and food he'd purchased just for tonight.

"You didn't have to do all this. Cold pizza would have been just fine with me," she told him as she bit into another slice of the tender-enough-to-cut-with-her-fork steak. The wine and mushroom reduction had been her contribution and he had to admit it was far better than he could have done. He was a decent cook, but she was amazing, though he got the impression she hadn't had a whole lot of time to use her culinary skills as of late. The job, the special assignment taking up the majority of her time.

He shrugged. "I wanted to, so stop complaining about it," he said around a grin. He could feel that she appreciated all the effort he'd gone to and that it had touched her. "I never really got much of a chance to show you this side of me... before."

"I never would have pegged you for a romantic. That's more Bobby's style," she argued.

"I s'pose." She wasn't really wrong. His half-assed attempts at romancing Casey had left his ex more amused than anything. She'd appreciated the efforts, but even he had to admit, especially in retrospect that he'd pretty much failed utterly. Casey, being a doctor and all, had deserved the best, but he, as a two-bit thief, had not been able to afford to meet her standards. Not legally anyway. And no matter how much he had wanted to quit for her, it had been the only viable means to treat her in the manner to which he believed she deserved. He'd made some damn good scores when with her, but it had all been a lie. What she had really wanted... needed was the truth and that had been the one thing he could not give her.

Alyx had the truth and still wanted him. How amazing was that?

She set down her fork and cocked her head slightly. "You okay?"

He smiled. "Of course, why?"

"Thinking deep thoughts you were," she said in her best, which was pretty damn horrible, let's be real here, Yoda voice.

"I suppose I was. Just... just comparing relationships is all," he told her, not about to lie. That would lead him down the wrong road and it wasn't as if the comparison came out bad for her. "Casey walked away when she learned who I really was. You've known from the beginning." He shrugged.

"Wondering where your relationship with her might have gone if you'd told her the truth?"

"It would have gone nowhere, I'm not a fool. Hell, she probably would have turned me in at the ER if she'd realized my injury had happened on a job." He shook his head, not about to indulge himself in that fantasy when the woman he loved sat before him. "You like me just as I am, and, while it still surprises the hell out of me, that's important. Is there anything you'd change about me?"

She cocked one eyebrow. "Wouldn't mind improving your stamina a bit," she replied cheekily, making him laugh.

"My stamina is just fine, thank you very much, which you are very much aware of as I recall."

Straight-faced she said, "I dunno, it's been a while, I might need a demonstration to remind me."

And, man, did that garner a reaction from at least one portion of his anatomy. He sucked in a breath and blew it out to a slow count of ten. Clearly it had been too long if that was all it took. Oh, he'd had sex since she'd last left, but it had been for work only, and he'd gotten the information needed every single time, but none of them had been her, Alyx. And no one could ever replace her as far as his mind and body were concerned.

"That can be arranged," he told her, voice shockingly low and husky.

She blinked lazily and all it did was cause already tight areas to tighten even further, which made him want to pounce and forget the elaborate dessert he had planned. "When you're ready so am I," she reminded, voice soft.

A valid reminder given he'd just been playing compare the relationships. Granted, Alyx had won, but her point had been made. A'course that didn't make him want her any less, and right now, he wanted her... lots. "Why did my being a thief not bother you?"

She shrugged. "Thief, con man, ex-con, spy... invisible man; they're all just words. Poor descriptors of who you are, but none of them are _you_." She stabbed her fork at him on the last word, before setting it on the table. "All of those words are just part of the whole that is Darien G. Fawkes, but no single one, nor all combined are the totality that is who you are. Which is as it should be." She paused for a sip of her wine. "And I have liked you from the moment we first met... as children. I do not expect you to change. You have to figure out how to accept yourself for who you are flaws and all. Now, that does not mean one should not try to improve, but one should do it for themselves, not because others deem it necessary."

And there it was in a nutshell, the whole reason they'd taken that proverbial step back: he did not feel worthy of her. How she saw him, what she expected of him, or not as the case may be, entirely different than his own. "Why though?" he asked, still feeling more than a touch bemused by it all. "Why do you like me?"

"Why do you like me? I'm a bitch most of the time, have had my head scrambled so badly I rely on how others picture me to prevent bad... very bad things from happening, I'm vertically challenged, especially next to you-"

He cut her off by reaching out and setting fingers on her lips. "You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You... you challenge me, make me want to be a better person without ever asking me to be, you expect nothing and give everything. More than I deserve most days. Everyone likes you if they give you even half a second to see you who you really are." He shifted his hand to cup her cheek. "How many men have wanted you after just a few hours? And not one has shied away from any part of you."

She shook her head. "Not true. not one of them knew the real me. I had to lie and hide what I really am... to protect them."

Darien only had to say two words to shatter that illusion of hers. "Max Garrett."

Her eyes narrowed in a glare that didn't last more than a few seconds before she closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "The sole exception... when it comes to ords anyway."

Darien snorted. "You'll be calling us muggles next."

"Us? You aren't a muggle by any stretch of the imagination, Mr. Invisible Man." She rubbed her eyes and met his with a sadness buried in hers. "You had to pick one of my biggest failures as an example."

"Failure? You saved his life." Very true, and in return Garrett had gotten them out of one of the worst wildfires in recent memory for everyone in California.

"Only to have him murdered in a bombing just weeks later. Would have been better to end it quickly," she grumbled, part of her clearly believing that in her heart and soul.

"And how many people did he save while fighting that fire?"

Her eyes widened as if she had never thought of it in quite that way. "But he still died."

"And was lucky enough to have met you... and liked you just as you are. Dangerous, beautiful and utterly amazing. I'm glad you met him and would have been glad to see you happy, and he did that."

"Darien..."

"It's okay, really, 'cause if it weren't for him you never would have... become this." He waved his hands at her for emphasis and was pleasantly surprised when she blushed. "Now, have we settled the why portion of this discussion?"

She smiled. "You tell me, have we?"

He thought about that, seriously, for a few moments then nodded. Truthfully the whys were indescribable, and far more visceral feelings than those that could be easily put into words. As she would say, 'it just was' and for now it was an answer he could live with. "Yeah. Much as we can, that is."

"Does that mean we can move forward on the dating?" she asked, her look far too innocent to be real.

Body parts south of his navel tightened instantly, and he could only hope she was suggesting what he thought she was suggesting. "So, second base?"

She chuckled warmly. "At the very least. Just remember you don't have to do anything to feel worthy of me. Far as I'm concerned you always were." She took a long drink of her wine, her look turning serious as she swirled the remaining amount around the bottom of the glass.

"Then why wouldn't you marry me?" A dangerous question to ask and one that might end with him not getting laid tonight, but that he still needed an answer to. Her reaction was carefully controlled. She finished the food she was chewing, set her fork down and dabbed at her lips with a napkin, which she set aside without once looking at him.

"What happened with my last... first marriage?"

It took him a moment to understand her quick change of words, realizing after a moment that she considered the faux marriage to Piotr as real as her marriage to Jess, a man who turned out to not be real. "He abused you," he stated, even though that single word did nothing to describe the hell she had gone through for years. "He did it to control you for his... employer."

She shook her head. "I didn't know that then and it really changes nothing. He had everything planned, sucked me in and had me head over heels, hell, even had my brothers convinced that he was the one... Well, everyone but Mike."

"He knew Jess was bad news?"

"Probably? His empathic skill wasn't as finely honed back then, he just knew he didn't like Jess." She sighed and poured more wine into her glass. "None of which is important now other than that relationship souring the idea of marriage for me. I only married Piotr because I had no choice. It's not fair to you, but it is how I feel." She turned away, eyes roving about the apartment that had once been hers. "Does it mean nothing that I stay here with you out of my own free will. That I _choose_ to be here. Because if not then we had better reevaluate our relationship right now."

Darien froze for a moment as realization sank in. Little wonder she wanted no part of marriage, the memories brought up just talking about it must be painful beyond belief and here he kept pushing the buttons. And... and she was right, damn it. She was with him by choice, had chosen him above all others, and he callously deemed it unworthy simply because she refused to allow an, admittedly, archaic, ritual to be performed. He had never wanted to marry anyone until her. Yes, there had been the occasional wild thought about Casey, but even he'd been wise enough to realize that the truth must out before that step could even be considered.

He moved quickly, until he knelt before her, her hands wrapped within his own. "I'm an idiot. Of course you choosing to be here, with me, is important. The most important thing in the world on most days." She managed a slight smile at that. "I didn't think. Didn't consider how much he hurt you or the fact that even mentioning it would bring those memories back. Forgive me?"

"I'll think about it," she grumbled, clearly not thrilled with having to point out the obvious and having to once again convince him that she was here for the long haul no matter how many stupid questions he asked.

Dinner was over and dessert could wait, right now he had to make amends. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers until he heard her sigh softly and felt her body relax ever so slightly. He stood and encouraged her to her feet. "C'mon."

She didn't argue and came along willingly enough as he led her to the sofa and urged her to sit. He didn't give her a chance to say a word, knelt before her and pulled her in for a kiss. While she didn't resist, she also didn't really participate, keeping her emotions carefully locked inside, the previous conversation clearly making her wary. He shifted, pulling her into a gentle hug, tucking his face up against the side of her neck. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to dredge up bad memories."

She relaxed, her entire body softening in his embrace. "Don't be sorry, it's me and my stupid brain screwing things up again."

"No... Well, yes, but I don't blame you." And he didn't. Wasn't her fault her husband had been a sadistic bastard, or that her mind had been so supercharged that she could literally forget nothing, no matter how much she wanted to. "Was being married to Piotr that horrible?"

She flinched, the question obviously catching her off guard. He moved to sit beside her, one of her hands twined with his, trying his best to let her know through touch that while he did indeed want an answer, she could take her time about it. She stuttered out, "N..n...no. In fact, if we had been free of other... entanglements I probably would have been willing to stay more than a few months."

He felt a surprising sense of hope and, oddly enough, unhappiness surge through him. "You... lo... cared about him that much?" He really didn't want to know if she had fallen for the man, a literal king and incredibly handsome too boot.

She met his gaze calmly. "Yes, I do, but since I could not be more than his friend and bodyguard I felt it better to bow out gracefully, so that we could both move forward with our lives."

"Alyx? What are you talking about?" He had an inkling, but didn't want to make assumptions, making one of those had torn them apart in the first place.

"I was supposed to remain married to him... forever, complete with having kids," she explained, tone carefully neutral, this discussion not easy for her.

"And? Do you not want more kids or something?"

She closed her eyes for a long moment and swallowed hard, before meeting his with pain clearly visible in hers. "I can't have any more, Darien. Jess made certain of that."

_Can't have any more..._

Having kids had never really been something he'd specifically thought about. Yeah, he'd like to have kids... one day, and more have kids with Alyx but... "This is why you won't marry me," he whispered, voice hoarse as the truth settled heavily upon him. She wouldn't marry him, simply because she wouldn't deny him anything and that included the opportunity to be a father, which, if what she just told him were indeed true, she could never provide. She cared about him so much that she would walk away in order for him to be happy and have the life she believed he deserved.

"It's part of it, yes," she answered with an honesty that surprised him. "When you asked me you wanted the whole package, house with the proverbial picket fence, big backyard with a dog or two, swing set... and kids." Darien ducked his head, not about to deny that had been exactly what had been going through his head. He felt her fingers on his cheek and he forced himself to meet her eyes. "And I knew I couldn't give that to you. Even if I had been... able to say yes I wouldn't have. I wouldn't force you to stay with someone who can't give you everything you want out of life."

Trouble was he still wanted that _with her_. No one else would do. But if she couldn't have any more kids... "This isn't a deal breaker if that's what you're thinking," he told her and meaning it. "I just... I guess I never really thought all of this through." True enough, but now that it had indeed come up he did, at least a start and he immediately realized that any family the two of them had would be just as much at risk as her current one. She already had four children, all of whom had inherited her abilities in one form or another, little chance that wouldn't occur if the two of them reproduced. Hell the two of them living together would complicate things. Risky enough allowing the bad guys to know they cared about each other, made it worse to have the two of them playing target in the same apartment. Toss children that would be unable to defend themselves into the mix and their crazy lives would become insane ones in seconds.

"You being impulsive? Never would have guessed." The snark ran deep, but he didn't allow it to deter him. He knew it was simply her being defensive.

Well, he'd had time to think now, months to think about how he hoped their relationship would go. "I… While I would love to start a family with you I would be more than happy to just be a part of yours. I mean I wouldn't expect your kids to call me dad or any-"

She stopped him cold by grabbing his face in her hands, fingers tangling in the hair by his ears and pulling him into a fierce kiss. When they finally broke apart she lay beneath him, her shirt unbuttoned further than could be considered appropriate, his was gone, flung into some far corner of the apartment and both of them were flushed and more than ready to take this to the next level.

Or so he thought, mere seconds after he'd shifted slightly to, in theory not crush her, her mood shifted. "You amaze me."

"If you think that was good…" he trailed off the grin practically swallowing up his face.

She reached up and set her palm against his cheek. "Not about that. About… my kids. You have no idea how much you wanting to be part of my family means to me."

"Yeah, I do." He turned his head to kiss her palm. "And I mean it. They've been important to me since the first time I met Rose. No matter what you say I know they are still the most important part of your life and will do whatever I can to help. Even if… even if we remain broken."

"Thank you," she told him with all due sincerity. "Now, before we go any further I have some news to tell you and… and you're not going to like it."

"Wait, you want to spoil the mood? Not exactly fair." Not that it would actually be possible, he hadn't had her in this position in _months_ it would take and act of god to destroy his want of her, and for the first time since her last visit in town and their discussion he actually felt like he could be worthy of her. She'd been right and while he still had issues, obviously, he planned to stop being an idiot and just let things be. It might be some time before they could be together on a day to day basis, but he'd make every effort to be patient, though it would not be easy… the rewards… they would be worth it.

"I know, but this is part of why I came over tonight. You need to know this." The seriousness in her tone and look took him aback, she really didn't want to burden him with this, but felt it necessary. He nodded and sat up, while she did little more than straighten her shirt a bit, leaving it unbuttoned, not the least bit embarrassed by her state of semi-undress. "We've been watching Eberts for a while now."

That stunned Darien for multiple reasons. "How long?"

"Months," she told him.

"And you did nothing?"

She shrugged. "We watched him and the info he was passing along. He wasn't giving away anything of importance in the grand scheme of things."

"But why leave him?"

She tipped her head slightly. "The devil you know."

He sighed. At least that made sense. By leaving Eberts in place they knew who the mole was, once arrested a new one could have been activated and they would have to start all over on figuring out who he or she was. "You suspected there was more than one?"

She nodded. "We're reasonably certain they did not know about each other, but once we took down one we had to take down all."

He reached out, shifting her legs across his lap, one hand rubbing the back of his head, the other coming to rest on her thigh, fingers gently kneading the muscle. "And you couldn't warn me?"

"And risk them moving sooner? No."

He nodded, understanding that. You don't risk the mission… not even for your boyfriend. Hell, he'd done the same when necessary, and, yeah, Hobbes had been cranky, but understood. "So, what changed? Why grab him now?"

Alyx closed her eyes for a long moment, releasing a soft sigh as if she had expected him to be pissed instead of reasonable, which, he had to admit, he might have done in the past, but this… this job of hers had far bigger implications than one brown-nosing geek turning out to be a double-agent for the big bad. "He had orders to kill you."

His fingers tightened convulsively about her leg. That had to be about the last thing he had ever expected to hear. "Eberts was ordered to kill me?"

She nodded. "Yes, and there was no way in hell I was going to allow that to happen."

He managed an only slightly freaked out smile. "Thanks for that, by the way." Her phrasing was interesting to say the least. While it was good to know she liked him among the living he got the distinct impression there were those who didn't give a rat's ass if the government's invisible man remained alive. "You're here against orders."

She shrugged. "I have discretion on my missions."

He reached over to tap her on the nose. "And that does not answer the question."

She moved quickly and caught his finger between her teeth, digging in just hard enough for him to feel it before allowing him to escape. "Given I'm not supposed to be telling you any of this, does it really matter?"

"Then why are you?" She had her reasons, of that he was certain, he was simply curious as to what they were. "You told the 'Fish, right?" His finger trailed down her neck, then slid across her collarbone, which conveniently caused the shirt to open more revealing the pale purple camisole she wore beneath.

She shook her head, seemingly oblivious to his actions. "No, and you don't get to either. He… he can't know, but you need to so you can be prepared should they try again."

"Again?" he all but squeaked, fingers pausing their slow exploration of her in his agitation. "Shit. Are you sure I shouldn't just run for the hills?"

She managed a soft laugh that actually eased some of the sudden worry churning in his gut. "I'm certain. Besides if you take off I can't keep an eye on you." Her foot shifted, toes rubbing gently across the skin over his ribs just hard enough to not tickle.

"You been spying on me?" He wasn't too keen on that, but at the same time if she hadn't been keeping a weather eye on him he might very well be dead now at Eberts's hand and no one the wiser. Least he had someone who cared about him watching his back and, apparently, saving his ass. Not to discount Hobbes and his semi-regular ass-saving, but he'd had no clue about this particular threat.

"No, just making certain things are okay, that's all. Your life is still your own, I promise."

Not what he had meant, but he wasn't sure he could explain to her the difference. "Guess maybe I should be asking why you've been keeping an eye on me."

"Well, aside from wanting you alive and kicking, we've discovered some things about this group… some disturbing things," she said softly. "Things I can't tell you… for your safety. Just… wait a few days after I'm gone and give Hobbes a heads up. He'll be able to help, but I don't want you to freak out. I'm hoping this will give them the hint that moving against you will just piss me off."

"And the last thing anyone wants is you pissed off." True enough, she could be a force of nature when she wanted to be. Hell, she could be scary dangerous when she wanted to be. He glanced down at her lying there half dressed and decided there were far more important things to do than talk about Eberts and the evil government agency he worked for. He leaned down to kiss her gently, her mouth opening under his with minimal encouragement and permitting him to do as he pleased for long minutes.

He pulled away to look her right in the eyes, the drowsy look of pleasure making him want to take her now, but he had plans after so many months without seeing her, detailed and exacting plans that would keep them far away from sleep for many hours. "I want to taste you," he said softly and then had to restrain a laugh as her eyes dilated though the lighting had not changed one whit.

"Yes, please," she requested, hands cupping his face, thumbs tracing across his skin and lips as if trying to memorize every contour. "I've missed you, Dare."

He couldn't help himself and said, "I know," before silencing her by the simple expedient of kissing her soundly and most thoroughly.


End file.
